Friday, October 16, 2009

Most Likely to Get Pulled Over by the Quilt Police

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury:

You have now seen all 144 examples of the art created by the 12x12 quilt artists. I submit to you: they are a rowdy bunch, undisciplined and even messy in their studios, unpredictable and unrestrained in their choices of colors and materials. They are not an orderly group. (To be fair, they do meet their deadlines.)

With what infractions can they charged? Imperfect points? Haphazard stitching? Uneven edging? No! Such petty rules do not apply to these artistic conspirators. Instead, I offer for your consideration the following indictments:

Identity Theft: Terri
For using faces so beautifully in her quilts

Inflaming the Emotions of the Jury: Helen
For capturing our attention with moving stories behind her quilts

Embellishing her testimony: Nikki
For including wonderful beadwork, stitching and other marvelous detail work in her quilts

Speeding: Gerrie
For making the most amazing quilts at the last minute

Repeat Offender: Francoise
For creating a set of work with a consistency of style and color resulting in elegant cohesion

Walking the line: Terry
For using line so wonderfully as a strong design element in her pieces

Conspiracy: Kristin
For incorporating such thoughtful and complex layers of meaning in her quilts

Carrying concealed weapons: Deborah
For consistent and inspirational use of a personal symbology and color palette in her pieces

Trafficking: Kirsten
... in COLOR that is, for her delightful use of a multitude of color in her pieces

Caught red handed: Karen
That's paint and ink, I hope... For using such impressive surface design techniques in her pieces (Gerrie qualifies as an accessory to this, as well)

Double Jeopdardy and Murder: Brenda
For producing so many alternative entries in the challenge rounds AND for causing so much fabric to DYE (undoubtedly qualifying for the Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity defense)

Jury, what say you?

9 comments:

Nikki said...

Love it!

But Diane, what about you? I think they might get you for perjury -- where's the WHOLE truth? We want your confession!

Gerrie said...

Diane!! This was wonderful. Laughing here and spewing coffee. You qualify for many of these "offenses", but really, you are the leader of this gang of fiber criminals.

Jeannie said...

This is so funny! Do you all have a symbol you use to mark fabric like other gangs?

Kristin L said...

Yes Diane -- what say YOU as our leader? I suspect the quilt police are watching you very closely, just waiting to sting the whole operation (that's the conspiracy theorist in me talking). You totally crack me up!!

Brenda said...

We will surely HANG for this!

Kristin L said...

Hahahahahahahahaha Brenda!!!

Jennifer said...

Guilty as charged, your Honor! But do not sentence them to jail where there would be hidden from view – leave them free in our world to enhance, beautify, encourage and make our world a better even more beautiful and wondrous place!

Jenny Loveder
Brighton, South Australia

pompomrouge said...

I say - very witty, Diane! (and Brenda!)
:D

Diane said...

I plead the fifth amendment and refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.