Saturday, August 1, 2009

Passion Interupted

Passion, how I would love to be lost in my passions! But for now that longing is more of a dream. The nagging demands of everyday life keep interrupting. (As I'm trying to write this I've had to stop to take over cooking the pancakes someone else started.) Honestly, rarely do I feel truly passionate, all consumed, on fire. My introverted nature tends towards self reflection, not passionate expression. And maybe my passions are quiet because I live in a house filled with passion. With four kids, the oldest approaching puberty, and an adoring, adventurous husband, passions are always running high. As mom, I'm easily distracted by the need to tend their passions. The urgency of their passions often outweighs the importance of mine.

For my quilt, I used a fiery background of pinks, oranges and yellows contrasted with the cool purples, blues and greens of interruption. The background is pieced with various commercial fabrics and then overlayed with hand dyed organza, symbolizing how my passions are somewhat veiled at this time. I quilted it with metallic swirls for all the ideas and passions swirling around within me. I then added wire springs for the bits of passion that find their way out. The cross pieces are paint rag fabric in my favorite purples and greens. They are quilted with variegated thread for the various, changing passions of others and outlined with a heavy beaded line for the strength of their demands.

Despite my occasional frustration, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and my time of interupted passion is only for a season. For now, I will embrace my family and role as mom with passion and sneak in time for myself when I can.

10 comments:

Kristin L said...

How ironic that passion gets us into being parents, and then being parents prevents us from being passionate! I hear your frustration. But, I also see what beauty you create when you do manage to feed your passion for creativity. Keep up the good work -- both in parenting and as an artist.

Gerrie said...

I can sort of relate to your theme. It has been a long time since my passion was thwarted by children at home. However, I value so much that you, Kristin and Deborah (and my daughter) have chosen to be stay at home Moms where you can still find time for your art. All of you are fortunate to have that luxury of being there for every one. It is a double edged sword, but, believe me, the time passes so quickly. Enjoy the uninterrupted passion, when it comes. I like how you have interpreted this with color and fabrics. We both have the grid going on!!

Helen Conway said...

But isn't your passion actually your fanily at the moment? You work alwasy seems to have a strightforward clarity to me - I imagine a quality derived from the need to get on and do something good quickly and not faff about sticking all sorts into it and making it too complicated. I wonder if your art will change when your parental role does?

Terry said...

Lovely sentiments here. You seem to have made the "interruptions" quite joyful and beautiful, without sadness or regret. I am happy you are seeing it as an interruption and not something stolen away from you. It is a beautiful piece and I, too, see a lot of passion in it.

Terri Stegmiller said...

This is so wonderful. I enjoyed your descriptive interpretation of your quilt and I especially enjoy the springy wires and it's symbolism. I can tell you that before you know it, you'll be wondering how fast those four interruptions have grown up.

kirsty said...

Oh, I can SO relate to your sentiments, Nikki!! Now that my youngest is 17, it's come to an end, but I can sure remember the frustration of constant interruption.I once told a student who was looking very closely at my machine quilting that every place where a stitch had "jumped" was a moment when one of the children had called "MUM!!"
You have made a beautiful image that tells it's story well. I like that the interruptions are cool, calm and serene - just because something interrupts doesn't mean it's loud or harsh or abrasive. This is a great representation of mother/lover, mother/artist, mother/woman...

Brenda said...

Your beading somehow softens or gives a benign edge to the tension between passion and constant interruptions.

Diane said...

Oh, Nikki! I can SO relate to your feelings -- in fact, I was feeling much the same way, and then feeling dispirited when I concluded I couldn't describe myself as passionate most of the time -- more like exhausted! So you took a complex set of feelings and not only articulated them beautifully but illustrated them in fabric with a perfect graphic design. I love it. The colors, and strip piecing, the beadwork -- all beautiful. And even if you are feeling fragmented and distracted and a slave to your family's passions, you are making beautiful art. I really do love this.

Karen said...

I agree with Kirsty, you really said what you were thinking with this quilt. The interruptions are straightforward, yet don't seem to be to intolerable. The colors you used are really effective.

Françoise said...

This is beautiful Nikki. I too can relate very much to what you're saying with this quilt. And, like Gerrie said, the kids will be grown up before you know it.